When are sad people happy? Or what makes sad people happy?
I always feel good when I see a dog. Dogs are good. Generally their minds are not fucked up like ours. That's why the make me feel good. They just wave their tails, sniff around and bark occasionally. I might be wrong but the feeling I get by seeing a dog is good and calm so what else can I think? People make me nervous. I can't trust them. You never know what's going on in their minds.
Usually I don't get good vibes when watching "happy families". I don't believe their happiness is true or then the sight of them just bores me, or even worse, sometimes it scares the shit out of me. This is obviously an age problem. What else could it be? Everything is explained with something, the fear of getting old, fear or dying, fear of vanishing.
I'm not extremely sad but I can be very melancholic from time to time. I also feel that I'm afraid of a lot of things. I never feel empty or tired. I feel restless and angry. Full of thoughts, ideas bursting inside me. I feel that this world steals my freedom, it steals my precious time. I feel I'm taking part in a long game of monopoly and that I can't get out or quit. And if I would quit I wouldn't know where to go, except heaven if there is one. This "not knowing situation" makes me sad. I understand the situation very well but I don't know the solution nor do I have an explanation. It's like understanding eternity. It's impossible, but you still try and when you get tired you get sad, some people call this melancholia. Some philosophers even divided people into four categories according to their personalities. One of them was the melancholic one. Saturn influenced these people strongly.
You could say they are nostalgic dreamers but I believe it's more complex than that.
I don't have any explanations yet, nor am I a professor in psychology, astronomy or philosophy. I'm simply a curious artist. I'm not looking for a remedy or trying to get cured, because the feelings I have make my life exiting and even worth living.